Polka Dots

The Big Road-Trip Back To CA: Grand Canyon

We really enjoyed the our stop at the Grand Canyon. It was a beautiful day and we explored the South entrance of the park. The views were stellar. The pictures hardly do it justice.

 

Sleep Hygiene

Life is moving at light speed these days. My work pressure & excitement is at an all time high. I am in well over my head on some big projects. We are getting ready to move. I am beginning to plan for our big re-wedding party in August. Dave is in the process of job hunting.

I lay down in bed at night and I wake up the next morning feeling like maybe I slept for ten minutes. I am not necessarily awake but I do not feel like I am getting a really restful sleep. I want to be able to enjoy the excitement in this time of our life rather than all the stress. I think some of these sleep hygiene tips are just overall tips for more healthy living.

Take The Test

Tips To Start Working On

Power of Positive Talk - Dr APJ Abdul Kalam

Long time no talk!
The craziness at work continues and I try to spend every extra moment just enjoying time with Dave. We had a great Vegas trip which I will write about soon!

This is just a little something that caught my eye today when I was starting my day. I don't necessarily believe in lots of crazy philosophy but this is a simple change that could brighten your life a little.

Positive self talk can keep you going through rough spots! :)
_________

Raj on November 25th, 2008

One of The Best Indian President I know. Read this speech.

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, “Bart, Hold on tightly.” So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, “Tammy, don’t fall!” And Tammy did fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, “Don’t drop it!” Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper “self-talk.” They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, “Okay, try to drop the pencil.” Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, “You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again.” Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will “give it a try,” you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a “no try” rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words “I’ll try” come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you “try” and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. “Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.”

People respect honesty. So remove the word “try” from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, ” I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc.”

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

X But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
X Try: Presupposes failure.
X If: Presupposes that you may not.
X Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
X Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.
X Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)
X Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
X Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: “Don’t drop the ball!”
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: “Catch the ball!”

Toxic phrase: “You shouldn’t watch so much television.”
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: “I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!”

Holiday Spirit

This year I have been very focused on work through most of December. Most of my current projects continue on a very rigorous track through the holiday and into next year. This weekend I finally really began to enjoy the season. Some might say the holiday season is so stressful but it is a very welcome distraction from work at this point. We had a bit of a hectic Saturday morning trying to get the final gifts in the mail so they would make it to the west coast in time for Christmas. Shouldn't the post office stay open later this time of year?!?!?! Oh yeah, I guess they want to enjoy the holiday too.

We had our first annual Dave & Christine cookie baking evening on Friday night and sent off the packages to friends & relatives early on Saturday morning. I had the bright idea that this would be a more cost effective way to let everyone know we were thinking about them. Now I think buying gifts might have been the easier route! My husband used a tape measure to roll out the dough and I burned the pecans three times before I got them toasted correctly. We had a lot of laughs doing it and in the end the packages will be really tasty for everyone on the other side (i hope)!

The cookie recipes we tried:

• Pecan Snowballs
• Raspberry Pinwheels (turned into Blackberry using Nana's Jam)

The snowballs turned out great. They are a little messy with the powered sugar but very tasty. The Blackberry Pinwheels were a bit of a disaster, which I would have known if I had read the reviews of other people. They came out a little better if you left them in the fridge longer. The taste of the cream cheese in the dough was delicious. They just didn't come out anything like the pictures. They are packaged and shipped with some mediocre fudge. We can only improve from here :) ha ha ha!

The gifts are stacking up under our tree. We must be most loved people around. There is more and more snow on the ground every morning. In order to keep us warm, I made this mulled wine right in the kettle. It was the perfect warm up in this freezing weather.

In the kettle put...

• Half a bottle of dry red wine
• 2 cups of apple juice (i like juice instead of cider to keep it sweet)
• 4 Tablespoons of honey
• 2-3 slices of an orange

In a coffee filter combine cinnamon, cloves & nutmeg. Fold the coffee filter shut and seal it off with string (or even a paper clip). Drop into the kettle and bring to a simmer.

Michelle Omaba on Work-family Balance

This is not at all political but just very real...

Michell Obama on "work-family balance":

"What I found myself -- and most of my friends -- doing is we just cope. We're taught that as women: Just handle it. Just adjust. We accommodate to things that aren't healthy instead of turning around and going, 'This has got to change.'"

Brrrrr....

Happy December!

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

-Unknown

Washinton DC Recommendations

There is so much to do in DC so I was trying to make a plan that would help us out.
So far the list includes...

• The Mall -Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, Vietnam Memorial Wall, plus all the other stuff too!

• Natural History Smithsonian

• Air & Space Smithsonian

• Arlington Cemetery

• Old Town Alexandria

• A little shopping in Georgetown (only a little as this is a trip for Dave)

• Evening in Adam's Morgan (Any bar/restaurant recommendations?)

• Cowboys/Redskins Game (Dave wants to rent a car so we can tail gate??? Really???)

Adjusting...Good Adjusting

I could not be more thrilled to have Dave home. There are moments that are almost impossible to explain when we are just sitting on the couch looking at each other. It feels amazing to have him by my side in whatever we are doing. He is adjusting very well to be being home. However, I way underestimated the adjustments I would be making. I wanted to make it seem like he never left so in the first week he was home I made every attempt to be totally normal! It really did feel all pretty normal in that first week...well as normal as possible sleeping with a person everyday you haven't really seen in 15 months.

In the grand scheme of things these are all very small adjustments to make. None of these are complaints...just adjustments...and I am so glad to have a reason to make them! :-)

WORK: For the past 15 months I have worked pretty much around the clock. I poured myself into my job. As some might say at work there is always more to be done...I took full advantage (?) of that. I am tired and ready to get some more balance. I need to get rid of the extra 25-30 hours a week I was working. I somehow thought it would magically go away :) Well it didn't! Now I am fighting with my outlook calendar to drag and drop these blocks of time into the far off future because they just don't fit!

LAUNDRY: There's is a lot more! AND I LOVE DOING IT :) Yes really.

FOOD & DRINK: After I moved out of NYC, I really I only drank a few glasses of wine maybe once a month and my daily meals were pretty much focused on cliff bars, a simple sandwich from a local deli & maybe a small bowl of pasta or a a quick soup for dinner. Now our social life is full of parties & rich food. One of us is cooking a big dinner every night. With all this I quickly developed heartburn!!! How romantic?!?!?! Not Honey, I'm sorry I have a headache, but rather Honey, I'm sorry I have heartburn. ewwww!

TRAVEL: I used to just pick up and go anywhere at the drop of a hat. I have spent tons of hours in cars and planes in the last 15 months. Dave has a pretty strong desire to just stay close to home. I honestly think it comes from him just seeing me soooo tired from all the travel that it has conditioned him to not want us to do much of it. HOWEVER, we are headed for a great weekend in Washington, DC this weekend. My history buff husband has never been there. I am putting together a great tour and to cap off the weekend we are going to the Redskins/Cowboys game. The slowed travel pace sounds great! I am looking forward to weekends cuddled up on the couch watching movies & football with the snow outside.

GETTING OUT OF BED: I think I mentioned the AWESOME sheets we bought. Well these combine with my total hot huband have been making it extremely hard to get out of bed when the alarm goes off...a few snoozes later I finally crawl out of bed and head for the shower.

MISSING FAMILY: Dave and I both have very strong relationships with our families...who happen to reside all the way on the other side of the country. I have had the luxury of being able to pop home to Tomales as I wanted over the past few months. This felt so nice! While Dave and I are so delighted to have this time to spend together we can't wait to be able to have easy access to our families. I know we will not take this for granted...at least not in the begining!

POST OFFICE WITHDRAWLS: I am having small random twitches during the day now that I am no longer visiting a post office to send a large box to Iraq. Not to worry (ugg)...I will get back to a Post Office routine as our good friend Marc is getting ready to head to Afghanistan next month. We are already making a list of all the good stuff that we need to get in the boxes :)

Thanks for reading the random late night babbles...

Halloween 2008

We got into the Halloween spirit just in time. On Friday afternoon we carved up some pumpkins really quick! It was so much easier than I remember it being when I was a kid. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that we can use big kid knives rather than those little serrated things. We knew we were likely to get one specific little trick-or-treater so we had to have some pumpkins for his first Halloween. Ramsey was up here in the North Country visiting his dad for a few days upon their return from Iraq. Even with an ear infection he was full of giggles and smiles while he played with Bermuda in our little house. He didn't have much interest in the candy, in fact I think he thought it was a dog treat so he kept trying to feed it to Bermuda. Somehow I didn't get a snapshot of the little pumpkin who came a knocking but I am sure Tara will get us some pics.

For the adults we baked up the pumpkin seeds and brewed a little spiced apple cider to warm up. It was a nice cozy eve at the apartment. The welcome home week was so much. It was great to have Ramsey & Tara around for a few days. Other significant others were in town this past weekend. Now they have all headed back to their respective places and we are getting bundled up for the winter here.

Spiced Apple Cider:
Apple Juice...up here there is a some great cider specific juice in the stores.
Orange
Ground Cinnamon
Cloves
Optional: Splash of Cranberry juice

Pour apple juice in pot. Create a simple spice packet using cheesecloth or a coffee filter. In the spice packet dump in a tablespoon of cinnamon and a palm full of cloves. Tie it up with some string and drop it in the liquid. Slice the orange into thin rings. Bring it all up to a simmer for a few minutes and then just keep it warm on the stove. Ladle it into mugs as your guests arrive!

Baked Pumpkin Seeds:
Rinse off the seeds in cold water. Spread out in a single layer on a oiled baking sheet. Salt to your liking. Bake for 25-30 mins at 325....I left mine in too long and they burned :(