What a beautiful Sunday I just had. I wish I would have forced myself to have more of these before Dave left...I didn't work yesterday and I didn't have plans or a list of 100 things to do!
Most of the men and women I work around who are the most successful in their careers work long hours and sacrifice a lot in their personal lives. Most of these people I really admire and respect as colleagues, but I am not sure yet if I aspire to be them. I have begun to have more "work-life" balance in my life over the past 6 months, but I must say that it made me realize that to be completely dedicated to my career I probably need a "wife".
Even when I have reduced my work hours there was a bunch of personal stuff I have ignored for the past 4 years that sucked up the rest of the time real quick. Things like sending birthday cards, going to the Dr/Dentist, doing my own laundry, cleaning my house, visiting family and friends, grocery shopping, cooking dinner...I really love doing all these things but jeese most of my Sundays in the past 6 months were spent split between some work and all that other stuff...
Looking back I wish I would have forced more of my Sunday to do's into the week so that I could have had more days like today with Dave!!!
Back to those really successful people that I am around everyday...Most of them don't really think about laundry very often, nor do they wonder about who is going to walk their dog, or pick up their dry cleaning. Most of them pay to have their house cleaned and a have a nanny for their children. Some of their spouses stay home and they STILL pay to have their house cleaned, etc. I can't even imagine what it is like to do this with children on top of the work hecticness.
In essence these people end up paying for all the stuff they don't have time for because work takes up most of their life. At least this leaves the little bit of the time they do have to spend with their families...
THE COST OF BEING A WORKAHOLIC:
This is not meant to criticize people who work hard to be successful but I am really trying to get a grasp on it for myself. I will apologize in advance for the analytical argument that will follow but this workaholic lifestyle choice just doesn't pencil for me...
Let's take paying the "dog walker"...
- $20/day for a 30 min walk (never mind if you are really a workaholic and the dog-walker has to come twice for 40 buckaroos),
- 20 days a month (we wont mention those peop's who even pay a dog walker for the weekends...),
- 12 months a year...
- Grand total of $4,800, when you adjust for the wonderful Manhattan tax rate you have to earn an additional $7,000 a year to pay for the dog walker...
- Every year your workaholic habits keeping you at the office soooo long that you can't get home to let your dog out must get your an incremental $7,000.
- You can do the math to add in the annual rate of House Cleaner + Laundry + Eating Out + Nanny.
- Seems like if you could work a 40 hour week and take a salary $30,000 less than your work-a-holic peers and you would break even. I guess it depends on how much you hate laundry.
DECIDING ON A WAY OF LIFE:
I know the math above seems like I have made an obvious choice, but that definitely isn't the case. I still struggle to limit work's role in my life everyday. As Dave deployed I know he expected I would slip back into my old habits overnight. He called after being gone for two days (most of which I had spent in tears) and he expected I would have been working all weekend.
Moving back to the city has put many of these people's lifestyle right in front of me. They are not even people I know, I just see and assume the stereotype. Shame on me! The thing I am only just beginning to understand is that it is a choice. I do not criticize people for any of their choices but I think I know the direction mine are headed in.
Reading this interview with one of the most powerful women in finance, I felt a little sick to my stomach thinking about bribing my kids into accepting my travel schedule, but she makes it clear that it is her choice. I know that I could easily be swept into working longer and longer hours for another promotion, but I don't think I want what comes with that. I feel bad enough about leaving the dog for 8 hours during the day.
IRONY:
In the end I really appreciate that I even get the opportunity to be a workaholic...I know that sounds sick, but I really do. The other population I am surrounded by in they city are the actors and actresses trying to get the right opportunity. They audition day after day just to get the opportunity to work long hours.
I have realized that it really just comes down to the choices I make and being confident and comfortable that they are right for me. It doesn't matter how anyone else judges success or achievement.
Cheers to Choices!